Thanks to movies like “Dear Zindagi”, “Queen” and books like “Eat, Pray, Love”, “Mistake of a woman”, the society has come to accept every form of grief among females. The women around us are now independent, ever-evolving and reaching new heights. But what about the gender which is hardly or let’s accept never talked about? What about the men in the house? Has it occurred to you that maybe the man sitting beside you who is acting indifferent and agitated might not be angry or over-loaded with work, nor he is tired but depressed?

Did you know?

• 5,10,000 men die from suicide globally each year. That’s one every minute 
• 27% of men said they do not have any close friends or any friend at all 
• 47% of men do not talk openly with friends about their problems

In a country like India, patriarchy has not only affected the lives of women but left men around us more confused than ever. Do you remember your childhood when your brother was crying and an elder to make him stop started passing remarks like, “Stop crying like a girl!”, “Boys don’t cry!” and why only our elders, as far as I remember my teachers said the same thing to boys who cried in our class. And as you grow up around male friends you will realize their plight because sometimes talking to a male friend doesn’t help these boys either, not because these friends are not ready to help but most of them don’t know how to help another emotionally distressed friend. 

So, what do you think a male friend will do if they find another under emotional stress? In most of the cases, some of the best things another male friend will do is plan a trip, plan a night where they drink like a fish and if the times are really hard, some of them will grow tired of listening to you as they tell you to grow up and “Be a Man!”. So, unable to find any emotional support, some of these men turn their hurt into aggression. Some isolate themselves. Some drown themselves into work and some turn to substance abuse to ease their pain making them addicts or sometimes killing them too young.  

Men and women are vulnerable to the same mental issues. Just sometimes, the signs may differ. How do you know a man around you is depressed? What are the signs to look for?

It will not be wrong to say, that aggression is one of the most common signs to look-out for since a man acting out of anger in a society like ours is completely fine and this is among one of the stereotypes that makes a man “a man”! If your partner, father or even a friend is showing anger make sure to lend an ear and try to get that person some professional help if required. Other signs may include- 

• Noticeable changes in mood, energy level, or appetite
• Difficulty sleeping or sleeping too much
• Difficulty concentrating, feeling restless, or on edge
• Increased worry or feeling stressed
• Misuse of alcohol and/or drugs
• Sadness or hopelessness
• Suicidal thoughts
• Feeling flat or having trouble feeling positive emotions
• Engaging in high-risk activities
• Aches, headaches, digestive problems without a clear cause
• Obsessive thinking or compulsive behavior
• Thoughts or behaviors that interfere with work, family, or social life
• Unusual thinking or behaviors that concern other people

Before one tries to find a remedy to the problem, a person must acknowledge the pain. How else can you find a solution when you are training your brain that it doesn’t exist. Apart from this, there are a few things one can follow to promote mental health.

1. Follow the mindfulness approach: If you have Rs. 1,440 with you and someone steals Rs.10 out of this bundle, you are left with Rs. 1,430. Will you be happy that your rs. 1,430 is saved or you will be sad about the Rs. 10 that you lost? We have 24hours in a day and exactly 1,440 minutes to be grateful for. Try the mindfulness approach to choose happiness every day of your life. 

2. Try relaxation techniques: If breathing in and breathing out is not something that resonates with you, choose something that helps you relax. Not a smoke or another glass of scotch but maybe music, a nap, or a walk. 

3. Spend time with loved ones: Surround yourself with people who love you. Your family, your partner, and your friends. Take some time out to reach out to the special ones as sometimes it is harmony in your relationships that can help you heal and get back to a happy life. 

4. Indulge in “Me Time”: Make sure you are spending time with yourself. Reconnecting with family, friends and loved one is fine, but keep a time to listen to yourself. Utilize this time to maybe introspect and pamper yourself with peace of mind as you travel, eat at your favorite place by yourself or go back into nature. 

5. Cultivate a hobby: Clean the dust off that canvas and paint your world anew. Get back to the things that made you happy once or pick up a new hobby. Try to make amends with the lost passion or find a new one as you surprise yourself and the world around you. 

6. Get help: While sometimes, talking to a friend is all the therapy you need, some scars go deep within, emotional and Physical trauma can change the course of life and how you perceive it. If you are aware of the things you or your friend is going through is not a phase and you think it is something serious, we always suggest you seek for depression treatment with help of a professional.

Depression in Men is real! More than ever, it is important now that we help them acknowledge their feelings and don’t shun them when they act gently around us. If we really wish to raise happy men, it is about time we show some care towards Mental-Health of the men around us.

Disclaimer: The tips and suggestions mentioned in the article have been written for general awareness and should not be considered as professional medical advice. We strongly recommend you consult your doctor or an expert before starting any fitness regime, diet changes, or making any lifestyle changes that affect your physical or emotional health.